Paramount

Eiko Onoda said...
The bigger, the nicer.

April 21, 2010 1:10 AM
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Boobzilla


Lately my giant boos have been growing incessantly, to the point where none of my bras or shirts can contain them. Nipples popping out left and right at all different places and in all kinds of situations.
For instance, I was getting ready for tennis today and I put on a top that used to fit me, but my husband takes one look at me and says:
"Your Boobzillas are popping out!"
"Oh, come on, baby", I start whining, "I just bought this top, I liked it...! Stop making fun of me.."
I finally find a bra top and put a giant shirt over it and head over to tennis. As I get there, it starts raining, so my instructor suggests that we cancel, cause I might get injured...
"No!", I go all excited, "Let's play, If I slip and fall on my ass I can go to the doctor and get a Vicodin prescription!"
"Ok. Damn, you smell good! What is this, Eau De Vodka?"
As we do a few backhands, I seem to be all out of whack, so after trying to correct me several times through technical adjustments, he attempts something more accessible to my capacity of understanding:
"How should I put this..? Totally terrible!! You get it now?
"Oh, yeah, I think I do. How about let's do some ass, then?" This is what I call all the lunges and other exercises that tennis players do in order to increase their running ability and leg strength. To me, they're only important due to their role in making my ass look rounder, cause otherwise my trainer says I run like a "drunken horse missing one leg", anyways...
As I do some lunges, my tshirt totally falls off me, literally slides down my shoulders and comes down to my waist, but I am not deterred by this minor incident, I keep lunging.
"Yeah, keep going, my instructor says. By the way, right nipple came out of your bra, too, but don't let that stop you! That's why I like you, cause you're a trooper! A true soldier! "
Posted by Daniela Trotter at 1:38 PM
1 comments:
Eiko Onoda said...
The bigger, the nicer.

April 21, 2010 1:10 AM